Sowed and Reaped (we knew i’d tell it sooner or later)

I woke up in peaceful thought this morning…and i surfed FB as i often do. A FBFriend posted this meme and it stirred a reaction in me. Here was my reply: Oooh catching the Holy Ghost over this one…SOMEBODY HOLD MY MULE while I shout!!!!! It does take two to make a union and two to break a union. But there is also being kind. Not Stealth and not Deadly. First, Do know Harm. I spent ten years loving a man who didnt love himself. Did you ever see the TV show The Imposter? Where a man traveled and each place he went he put on a different persona? Well I married him not once but TWICE. The idiom “Love is Blind” has a picture of ME right next to it. I love Whole and I love Hard which is vastly different from loving wholeheartedly. Wholeheartedness come from like then … Continue reading

Why Not?

FATHERS DAY BRINGS MEMORIES OF CONVERSATIONS WITH MY DAD… Conversations that nowadays when i have questions i search back through them to find the PEARLS OF WISDOM. Looking for clues and information that will help me walk through to whatever “hmmmm revelation” i crave answers to. The singular declarative vision that will be made clear while seeking that AHA moment. Todays truth journey… When love arrives, presents, initiates, blossoms, grows, makes known, CLAIMS, ATTEMPTS, bargains, ACCEPTS, decides, commits, thrives, lives, STUMBLES, doubts, questions, errs, rationalizes, excuses, bargains, fades, postulates, accuses, backpeddles, lies, diverts and SUCCUMBS I NEVER ASK WHY… I ASK WHY NOT ME… Daddy you told me to always be Me… One would come one day…who could…who will…understand me and love me for me. It wont be easy for him, he will stumble because you told me… Im Different…but Im Worth it… Im Worth Everything… I BELIEVED YOU THEN … Continue reading

Social Graces

TODAY I SPEAK MY TRUTH. OVER THE YEARS SO MANY HAVE ATTEMPTED TO TRY TO DO THAT FOR ME ABOUT ME IN SPITE OF ME IN THE NAME OF ME FUNNY… Cruxificiation is real Excommunication can sting & Lack of Compassion can tear at your Fiber But the God I serve Served Me Two People who bore me & Allowed me to witness every emotion Allowed me to Grow & Be Me & Today I choose Me… Social Friends & Real Fam…stay or not No more oogling Pick a Side… and lets pretend volley no more… My Open Letter… Sisters/Brothers If u are a social friend or fam member on my page ur there bcuz we are good. Malice doesn’t live here. Judgment has never had a seat at my table. I left the groups bcuz smiles and hellos can also be envy and rancor. Ppl use their in boxes … Continue reading

Because I had to…

Brother… You don’t think I wanted to be softer… I could have acquiesced made myself smaller Less smart, more timid Play the game plead DESPIRATION &r Snare me a man I could have opened my valley exuded sensual aromas to Entice Become Betty Crocker, Aunt Jemima and Chef Boy Ardee to Keep a man… But Would it have been Should it have been worth Losing Me… Disproportionate numbers of MEN Who by the Grace of God and PROPER upbringing were raised to Meet, Get to Know & Love A Partner instead of A Subservient Are too few to measure. And those that Couldn’t, wouldn’t or chose not to Simply Rationalize By Branding Me IMTIMIDATING I will wear it… IF IM TOO STRONG FOR YOU So be it… But what you fail to realize is STRONG WOMEN are willing to Love you Totally Support you Wholeheartedly Sex you Completely & When … Continue reading

The Exodus Chronicles

TheYearofChange😘✌ Funny thing happened on the way to prep for return to Richmond Va… I realized I’m ALREADY Home 💖 I didnt want to leave Richmond but Celestial Spirit wanted me too. They knew i wouldnt heal there. That i would have EVENTUALLY allowed Sidewinder BACK INTO MY AURA. I never professed to have the wisdom of the ages. I had to get gone and my penance to pay for my trouble was to foster my furry child. I wanted to blame him solely but we were both duplicitous in our unions destruction. Angel i miss you but Mommy had to learn how to love and care for Just Her. AFTER A LIFETIME OF CARING FOR OTHERS… Spirits did send a sign an implication and a SoulFriend in the guise of an Acquaintence who became my Season of Joy. SO THIS IS WHAT THE TRUTH FEELS LIKE… Wowwwwww Somewhere around … Continue reading

I can almost Hear Him say…WELL DONE

RECOVERED FROM BLOGPOST 2012 THE BFF (FRENEMY) WENT GHOST THE HUSBAND REMOVED THE MASK AND LET THE COWARDICE SHOW THRU… BUT GUESS WHAT? GRANVILLE’S BABYGURL IS STILL STANDING!!! I had to make choices when I had NO options. He was going to die. It was a matter of where and when. No one in my ancillary family understood that or came to help me. In fact meetings were held to usurp me. They accused me, tried me and found me guilty sentencing me to Estrangment and Excommunication w/no parole. Ive forgiven for my sanity and moved on. They are non factors. Only with Gods light, my mothers spirit guiding me, my Daughter holding on to me and stepping up to the plate, my son in laws support, my bff ever present with me, and my love…(whom i had the good sense to remarry) buidling a fence around me…did i make … Continue reading

Im a Nana…WTF?

RECOVERED FROM BLOGSPOT 2014 I have two beautiful, funny, loving GrandGems…Mr. Mason and Ms. Peyton Alexander, 14 mo old fraternal twins. Up till June 1st they resided in ATL. Luckily their Mommy, my daughter was chosen and accepted a position that brought the fam back to RVA. (Dad is still in Atl to close out apt. etc) She started her job June 2nd. Now with me being on Severance/Sabbatical (fancy term for NOT WORKING A 9-5) i offered to become full time Nana, with ancilliary help from Grandma (S-I-L’s Mom) if need be. Before you say oooh and ahhh how wonderful there are two things I want you to know. 1. IM ALLERGIC TO CHILDREN – i have spent the better part of 30 years avoiding children. let me clarify because i have three older Grandchildren besides the twins… My son has three kids and Ive have been in their … Continue reading

Her, Him, Me

I’m not gonna be maudlin this year so let me wish you all a Bless-ed Mothers Day. My Mama is with me too. When the sun shines i think of her. After my mom died i was obsessed with sunrises. i would rise at four and five and sit outside on my back deck and watch it. Some mornings would bring beautiful memories, some mornings would bring reality of the family struggle, the tug of war, the maliciousness that follows the loss of someone great. I swallowed a lot of tears in that first month after her passing. I drove to Palmyra (approximately an hour and some away from Richmond) daily after she passed to check on my Daddy. Although two sisters lived in close proximity to him, one was caught up in her own grief and thoughts of what she couldve done differently for her mom when she was … Continue reading

Big Boned, FAT or Phat

RECOVERED BLOGSPOT POST 2014 Today is a FAT day. we all have them. This isn’t a gender posting even though i will refer to how fat relates to men and to women. Generalities abound. Morning comes and we rise, sleep encrusted, we shake it off and head to the bathroom. Upon entering the bathroom we come face to face with the mirror. The mirror is our best friend or our worst enemy. We look through the haze of ocular shadows and glide our hands over the areas we daily take to task. Today is a fat day for me. I feel bloaty, i feel water retained, and my thighs look more cellulite-y then usual. My stomach has the familiar lower section pooch but it seems bigger. (and peeing didn’t shrink it like it does most mornings) My Tits seem to be slowly easing closer to my navel. At this point … Continue reading

2nd Sunday in May….Lordt

LOST BLOGSPOT POSTS FOUND May 2, 2014 I’ve come to abhor the second sunday in May…(for Dorothy Elizabeth White) #1 The Bio… I was born in 1955 to a man i can’t begin to tell you how much i idolized. (RIP Daddy) and to woman who was EVERYTHING to me. Her name is/was Dorothy Elizabeth White. I want to pay homage to the woman who inspired me to always be present.. My mother was born August 10th 1925 to Ernest and Mollie White. She grew up in segregated Virginia, Palmyra in Fluvanna County. She was a hard working child being the oldest daughter in the family. My grandfather died long before i came along but he was said to be a mean man. Mama “looked” different (or so he felt) from the other gurls. That and feeling that my grandmother “stepped out” on him caused him to be violent even … Continue reading