Road to 2016 & Beyond

    What’s Missing??? HOW I GOT TO 2016 2015 – Jan-Feb: Cast Aside March: Saved MYSELF May: New City New Job June: Car Totaled in Balt (shielded by God) July: Bankrupt Begin Again Sept: Divorced JUDAS June-Dec: SoulFriend who Loved & Cared 4Me thru it ALL 2016 – Jan-May I Grew Legs again enabling Me2 Crawl thru Adversity Move thru rough terrain Hugged SoulFriend Goodbye May-Dec I Gave Way to Thought which Enhanced Sound Steeled Perception Held back on connecting 2 a New SoulFriend bcuz I knew I wasn’t ready & I Guided Myself 2 the Cocoon 2017 – Jan-April Opened 2 Possibility Accepted Advances Met 2 Kindred Spirits Shunned having a Social Life but daily went2 Work, Work, Work Work Work…. Spent weekends alone Growing, Being, Relishing in My Party of Oneness As My Cocoon started to crack as light slivered in decided I need 2 be HOME… Continue reading

Enlightenment

  When My Quest began I was Bereft & Bewildered having endeavored and endured while on the journey to This Place I humbly realize It was worth Everything While traveling I met UNreasonable Facsimiles and Smooth Talking Carpetbaggers I even sampled one or two of their wares all the while being willingly convinced to contort my dignity along w/My Feet trying on Glass Slippers w/shards of glass To their amusement and My Disdain Thankfully Realizing That 4Love I wasn’t meant 2Bleed Their Incessant whines: I’m not ready… Give me time… I really wanna… In the future… I’m working on it… Became the hauntingly aching mantra that consistently Crescendo’d in my ears, traveling through My Soul pinching My Heart… the sting almost unbearable at times & like Black Magic The Healing worsened with each attempt Fearing distinction… Their incessant Cacophony’s were deafining…. just to keep a bid in trying to explain… Continue reading

Wanted: A Blind Man w/a Heart of Gold

              Pop I never found the Blind Man with the Heart of Gold… TY Daddy “I” learned the lessons Unfortunately to “them” I’m seemingly Invincible & Invisible… A 5foot7 Brainiac Boss HiYella Golden Girl w/Tits/Ass ThickThighs & an affinity for Zooming equal 2theirs is all “They” see You always said Be Smarter Be Better Be Ready and Love with your Whole Heart My Rents, My Man My Kids & God I did that Pop but 2No Avail Looks and a Quarter won’t buy a cuppa coffee… And weave, padding and BS continue 2Deceive… Trust Honesty Loyalty, Solidarity Ride or Die… and COMPROMISE is what sees you thru Soooo When presented with Stay in, Stay on & help Steer the Boat… Those Chosen          failed to Ride the waves & Enjoy the Journey & Those current & out on the Periphery are just that…  Luckily you taught Me How 2Sail… #090623 #HBDayPop… Continue reading

Pursuit of Perception? No Thanks…

    Why I am involved w/Me, Myself & I? Is it me or just the men I seem to meet and know… Ladies Lately…do you find yourself having to “Banter” in convos abt mudane topics w/o hearing any substance? Have men gotten so used to *Half Ass Doing and Being* (as my Mama used to say) with a Sister that they feel that ANY time spent with a Sister is Quality Time? When did the quest for Orgasms replace conversation, direction, intention? Or His perceived Prowess replace Principles? Cuz we can all Fuck…. But can you form a legible sentence. Is your quest for like, love or commitment as long as your dick? When did it become fashion to go from Hello to Name Rank and Serial number… with our non negotiables leading the way. One wrong word or phrase spoken or interpreted incorrectly followed by the appearance that effort may be required and… Continue reading

The 2nd Awakening

              Luvs 💜💜💜 Some musings for your pleasure of Part Two of my Sojourn.   Epiphanies are happening for sure…in and thru and around me.  My restlessness prompts me for decisions, actions and change. Only the non existent refuse to evolve. Everything I thought I had, everyone I thought I knew… the visions have changed and the facades are falling away. In this 2nd stillness, veils are being lifted allowing Brilliance to manifest again. In this constant evolutionary journey, Ive missed Love.  In this period of solitude and discovery Ive needed, wanted and craved Lust.  Superficial has never interested me nor have the objects of the offers. There have been many who feigned to be “enlightened” to pique my interest…only to falter once the real is known & shown.  My Spiritual Emotional Alchemy moves fluidly leaving those of reason baffled and somewhat defensive. I choose 2lanquish… Continue reading

Visitation & Manifestation

  #BEGINAGAIN Morpheus taught Neo that In the Construct We shape & Mold our Reality. This morning I awoke Tired of Sleep encrusted Self imposed Worrisome visions of Nothingness bcuz of always wondering who is responsible what’s happened to me when did I lose sight where I’ve landed & why…. 1. I AM RESPONSIBLE 2. LIFE HAPPENED TO ME 3. I BLINDLY LOVED 4. I CRASHED DOWN @ THE CORNER OF PITY & INDECISION & 5. BLAME(D) EVERYTHING, EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE AROUND ME BOOM POW CRASH!!!! Today I woke the Fuck up Tuesday I had a Visitation from My Daddy right smack dab in the middle of Golden Corral…. My explanation nor Your understanding is not necessary I UNDERSTAND I WILL BEGIN AGAIN I HAVE SET FIRE TO THE OLD CONSTRUCT AS A BABE… I WILL BE OPEN, ALERT AND WATCHFUL AND I WILL FIND WONDER IN THE ORDINARY & THE SUBLIME… Continue reading

How’d I Do?

          QUESTIONS FOR YOU AT 50 I saw this posted and decided to do a check in with myself. The pic on the left I was 52 actually. The right I just turned 60. In a few months half a hundred will be 12 years behind me. My road from 50 to 61.9999 has been paved with guts and glory.  So this poll will be as good a gauge as any… Here we go: 1. An old boyfriend who makes you smile with melancholy when you remember him and an old boyfriend who makes you proud of how far you’ve come.* CHECK – EVEN THO OUR PARTING WASNT SMOOTH, D WAS A LIFELINE AND A BEST FRIEND WHEN I NEEDED ONE.  J WAS A CHALLENGE TO MY SOUL LOINS AND SPIRIT – MENSA MATERIAL BUT HE COULDNT OUTFOX OUT BEGUILE OR OUTSMART THIS DIVA 2. A… Continue reading

Sowed and Reaped (we knew i’d tell it sooner or later)

I woke up in peaceful thought this morning…and i surfed FB as i often do. A FBFriend posted this meme and it stirred a reaction in me. Here was my reply: Oooh catching the Holy Ghost over this one…SOMEBODY HOLD MY MULE while I shout!!!!! It does take two to make a union and two to break a union. But there is also being kind. Not Stealth and not Deadly. First, Do know Harm. I spent ten years loving a man who didnt love himself. Did you ever see the TV show The Imposter? Where a man traveled and each place he went he put on a different persona? Well I married him not once but TWICE. The idiom “Love is Blind” has a picture of ME right next to it. I love Whole and I love Hard which is vastly different from loving wholeheartedly. Wholeheartedness come from like then… Continue reading

Why Not?

FATHERS DAY BRINGS MEMORIES OF CONVERSATIONS WITH MY DAD… Conversations that nowadays when i have questions i search back through them to find the PEARLS OF WISDOM. Looking for clues and information that will help me walk through to whatever “hmmmm revelation” i crave answers to. The singular declarative vision that will be made clear while seeking that AHA moment. Todays truth journey… When love arrives, presents, initiates, blossoms, grows, makes known, CLAIMS, ATTEMPTS, bargains, ACCEPTS, decides, commits, thrives, lives, STUMBLES, doubts, questions, errs, rationalizes, excuses, bargains, fades, postulates, accuses, backpeddles, lies, diverts and SUCCUMBS I NEVER ASK WHY… I ASK WHY NOT ME… Daddy you told me to always be Me… One would come one day…who could…who will…understand me and love me for me. It wont be easy for him, he will stumble because you told me… Im Different…but Im Worth it… Im Worth Everything… I BELIEVED YOU THEN… Continue reading

Social Graces

TODAY I SPEAK MY TRUTH. OVER THE YEARS SO MANY HAVE ATTEMPTED TO TRY TO DO THAT FOR ME ABOUT ME IN SPITE OF ME IN THE NAME OF ME FUNNY… Cruxificiation is real Excommunication can sting & Lack of Compassion can tear at your Fiber But the God I serve Served Me Two People who bore me & Allowed me to witness every emotion Allowed me to Grow & Be Me & Today I choose Me… Social Friends & Real Fam…stay or not No more oogling Pick a Side… and lets pretend volley no more… My Open Letter… Sisters/Brothers If u are a social friend or fam member on my page ur there bcuz we are good. Malice doesn’t live here. Judgment has never had a seat at my table. I left the groups bcuz smiles and hellos can also be envy and rancor. Ppl use their in boxes… Continue reading