The 2nd Awakening

              Luvs 💜💜💜 Some musings for your pleasure of Part Two of my Sojourn.   Epiphanies are happening for sure…in and thru and around me.  My restlessness prompts me for decisions, actions and change. Only the non existent refuse to evolve. Everything I thought I had, everyone I thought I knew… the visions have changed and the facades are falling away. In this 2nd stillness, veils are being lifted allowing Brilliance to manifest again. In this constant evolutionary journey, Ive missed Love.  In this period of solitude and discovery Ive needed, wanted and craved Lust.  Superficial has never interested me nor have the objects of the offers. There have been many who feigned to be “enlightened” to pique my interest…only to falter once the real is known & shown.  My Spiritual Emotional Alchemy moves fluidly leaving those of reason baffled and somewhat defensive. I choose 2lanquish… Continue reading

Visitation & Manifestation

  #BEGINAGAIN Morpheus taught Neo that In the Construct We shape & Mold our Reality. This morning I awoke Tired of Sleep encrusted Self imposed Worrisome visions of Nothingness bcuz of always wondering who is responsible what’s happened to me when did I lose sight where I’ve landed & why…. 1. I AM RESPONSIBLE 2. LIFE HAPPENED TO ME 3. I BLINDLY LOVED 4. I CRASHED DOWN @ THE CORNER OF PITY & INDECISION & 5. BLAME(D) EVERYTHING, EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE AROUND ME BOOM POW CRASH!!!! Today I woke the Fuck up Tuesday I had a Visitation from My Daddy right smack dab in the middle of Golden Corral…. My explanation nor Your understanding is not necessary I UNDERSTAND I WILL BEGIN AGAIN I HAVE SET FIRE TO THE OLD CONSTRUCT AS A BABE… I WILL BE OPEN, ALERT AND WATCHFUL AND I WILL FIND WONDER IN THE ORDINARY & THE SUBLIME… Continue reading

How’d I Do?

          QUESTIONS FOR YOU AT 50 I saw this posted and decided to do a check in with myself. The pic on the left I was 52 actually. The right I just turned 60. In a few months half a hundred will be 12 years behind me. My road from 50 to 61.9999 has been paved with guts and glory.  So this poll will be as good a gauge as any… Here we go: 1. An old boyfriend who makes you smile with melancholy when you remember him and an old boyfriend who makes you proud of how far you’ve come.* CHECK – EVEN THO OUR PARTING WASNT SMOOTH, D WAS A LIFELINE AND A BEST FRIEND WHEN I NEEDED ONE.  J WAS A CHALLENGE TO MY SOUL LOINS AND SPIRIT – MENSA MATERIAL BUT HE COULDNT OUTFOX OUT BEGUILE OR OUTSMART THIS DIVA 2. A… Continue reading

Sowed and Reaped (we knew i’d tell it sooner or later)

I woke up in peaceful thought this morning…and i surfed FB as i often do. A FBFriend posted this meme and it stirred a reaction in me. Here was my reply: Oooh catching the Holy Ghost over this one…SOMEBODY HOLD MY MULE while I shout!!!!! It does take two to make a union and two to break a union. But there is also being kind. Not Stealth and not Deadly. First, Do know Harm. I spent ten years loving a man who didnt love himself. Did you ever see the TV show The Imposter? Where a man traveled and each place he went he put on a different persona? Well I married him not once but TWICE. The idiom “Love is Blind” has a picture of ME right next to it. I love Whole and I love Hard which is vastly different from loving wholeheartedly. Wholeheartedness come from like then… Continue reading

Why Not?

FATHERS DAY BRINGS MEMORIES OF CONVERSATIONS WITH MY DAD… Conversations that nowadays when i have questions i search back through them to find the PEARLS OF WISDOM. Looking for clues and information that will help me walk through to whatever “hmmmm revelation” i crave answers to. The singular declarative vision that will be made clear while seeking that AHA moment. Todays truth journey… When love arrives, presents, initiates, blossoms, grows, makes known, CLAIMS, ATTEMPTS, bargains, ACCEPTS, decides, commits, thrives, lives, STUMBLES, doubts, questions, errs, rationalizes, excuses, bargains, fades, postulates, accuses, backpeddles, lies, diverts and SUCCUMBS I NEVER ASK WHY… I ASK WHY NOT ME… Daddy you told me to always be Me… One would come one day…who could…who will…understand me and love me for me. It wont be easy for him, he will stumble because you told me… Im Different…but Im Worth it… Im Worth Everything… I BELIEVED YOU THEN… Continue reading

Social Graces

TODAY I SPEAK MY TRUTH. OVER THE YEARS SO MANY HAVE ATTEMPTED TO TRY TO DO THAT FOR ME ABOUT ME IN SPITE OF ME IN THE NAME OF ME FUNNY… Cruxificiation is real Excommunication can sting & Lack of Compassion can tear at your Fiber But the God I serve Served Me Two People who bore me & Allowed me to witness every emotion Allowed me to Grow & Be Me & Today I choose Me… Social Friends & Real Fam…stay or not No more oogling Pick a Side… and lets pretend volley no more… My Open Letter… Sisters/Brothers If u are a social friend or fam member on my page ur there bcuz we are good. Malice doesn’t live here. Judgment has never had a seat at my table. I left the groups bcuz smiles and hellos can also be envy and rancor. Ppl use their in boxes… Continue reading

Because I had to…

Brother… You don’t think I wanted to be softer… I could have acquiesced made myself smaller Less smart, more timid Play the game plead DESPIRATION &r Snare me a man I could have opened my valley exuded sensual aromas to Entice Become Betty Crocker, Aunt Jemima and Chef Boy Ardee to Keep a man… But Would it have been Should it have been worth Losing Me… Disproportionate numbers of MEN Who by the Grace of God and PROPER upbringing were raised to Meet, Get to Know & Love A Partner instead of A Subservient Are too few to measure. And those that Couldn’t, wouldn’t or chose not to Simply Rationalize By Branding Me IMTIMIDATING I will wear it… IF IM TOO STRONG FOR YOU So be it… But what you fail to realize is STRONG WOMEN are willing to Love you Totally Support you Wholeheartedly Sex you Completely & When… Continue reading

The Exodus Chronicles

TheYearofChange😘✌ Funny thing happened on the way to prep for return to Richmond Va… I realized I’m ALREADY Home 💖 I didnt want to leave Richmond but Celestial Spirit wanted me too. They knew i wouldnt heal there. That i would have EVENTUALLY allowed Sidewinder BACK INTO MY AURA. I never professed to have the wisdom of the ages. I had to get gone and my penance to pay for my trouble was to foster my furry child. I wanted to blame him solely but we were both duplicitous in our unions destruction. Angel i miss you but Mommy had to learn how to love and care for Just Her. AFTER A LIFETIME OF CARING FOR OTHERS… Spirits did send a sign an implication and a SoulFriend in the guise of an Acquaintence who became my Season of Joy. SO THIS IS WHAT THE TRUTH FEELS LIKE… Wowwwwww Somewhere around… Continue reading

I can almost Hear Him say…WELL DONE

RECOVERED FROM BLOGPOST 2012 THE BFF (FRENEMY) WENT GHOST THE HUSBAND REMOVED THE MASK AND LET THE COWARDICE SHOW THRU… BUT GUESS WHAT? GRANVILLE’S BABYGURL IS STILL STANDING!!! I had to make choices when I had NO options. He was going to die. It was a matter of where and when. No one in my ancillary family understood that or came to help me. In fact meetings were held to usurp me. They accused me, tried me and found me guilty sentencing me to Estrangment and Excommunication w/no parole. Ive forgiven for my sanity and moved on. They are non factors. Only with Gods light, my mothers spirit guiding me, my Daughter holding on to me and stepping up to the plate, my son in laws support, my bff ever present with me, and my love…(whom i had the good sense to remarry) buidling a fence around me…did i make… Continue reading

Im a Nana…WTF?

RECOVERED FROM BLOGSPOT 2014 I have two beautiful, funny, loving GrandGems…Mr. Mason and Ms. Peyton Alexander, 14 mo old fraternal twins. Up till June 1st they resided in ATL. Luckily their Mommy, my daughter was chosen and accepted a position that brought the fam back to RVA. (Dad is still in Atl to close out apt. etc) She started her job June 2nd. Now with me being on Severance/Sabbatical (fancy term for NOT WORKING A 9-5) i offered to become full time Nana, with ancilliary help from Grandma (S-I-L’s Mom) if need be. Before you say oooh and ahhh how wonderful there are two things I want you to know. 1. IM ALLERGIC TO CHILDREN – i have spent the better part of 30 years avoiding children. let me clarify because i have three older Grandchildren besides the twins… My son has three kids and Ive have been in their… Continue reading