Because I had to…

Brother… You don’t think I wanted to be softer… I could have acquiesced made myself smaller Less smart, more timid Play the game plead DESPIRATION &r Snare me a man I could have opened my valley exuded sensual aromas to Entice Become Betty Crocker, Aunt Jemima and Chef Boy Ardee to Keep a man… But Would it have been Should it have been worth Losing Me… Disproportionate numbers of MEN Who by the Grace of God and PROPER upbringing were raised to Meet, Get to Know & Love A Partner instead of A Subservient Are too few to measure. And those that Couldn’t, wouldn’t or chose not to Simply Rationalize By Branding Me IMTIMIDATING I will wear it… IF IM TOO STRONG FOR YOU So be it… But what you fail to realize is STRONG WOMEN are willing to Love you Totally Support you Wholeheartedly Sex you Completely & When… Continue reading

The Exodus Chronicles

TheYearofChange😘✌ Funny thing happened on the way to prep for return to Richmond Va… I realized I’m ALREADY Home 💖 I didnt want to leave Richmond but Celestial Spirit wanted me too. They knew i wouldnt heal there. That i would have EVENTUALLY allowed Sidewinder BACK INTO MY AURA. I never professed to have the wisdom of the ages. I had to get gone and my penance to pay for my trouble was to foster my furry child. I wanted to blame him solely but we were both duplicitous in our unions destruction. Angel i miss you but Mommy had to learn how to love and care for Just Her. AFTER A LIFETIME OF CARING FOR OTHERS… Spirits did send a sign an implication and a SoulFriend in the guise of an Acquaintence who became my Season of Joy. SO THIS IS WHAT THE TRUTH FEELS LIKE… Wowwwwww Somewhere around… Continue reading

I can almost Hear Him say…WELL DONE

RECOVERED FROM BLOGPOST 2012 THE BFF (FRENEMY) WENT GHOST THE HUSBAND REMOVED THE MASK AND LET THE COWARDICE SHOW THRU… BUT GUESS WHAT? GRANVILLE’S BABYGURL IS STILL STANDING!!! I had to make choices when I had NO options. He was going to die. It was a matter of where and when. No one in my ancillary family understood that or came to help me. In fact meetings were held to usurp me. They accused me, tried me and found me guilty sentencing me to Estrangment and Excommunication w/no parole. Ive forgiven for my sanity and moved on. They are non factors. Only with Gods light, my mothers spirit guiding me, my Daughter holding on to me and stepping up to the plate, my son in laws support, my bff ever present with me, and my love…(whom i had the good sense to remarry) buidling a fence around me…did i make… Continue reading

Im a Nana…WTF?

RECOVERED FROM BLOGSPOT 2014 I have two beautiful, funny, loving GrandGems…Mr. Mason and Ms. Peyton Alexander, 14 mo old fraternal twins. Up till June 1st they resided in ATL. Luckily their Mommy, my daughter was chosen and accepted a position that brought the fam back to RVA. (Dad is still in Atl to close out apt. etc) She started her job June 2nd. Now with me being on Severance/Sabbatical (fancy term for NOT WORKING A 9-5) i offered to become full time Nana, with ancilliary help from Grandma (S-I-L’s Mom) if need be. Before you say oooh and ahhh how wonderful there are two things I want you to know. 1. IM ALLERGIC TO CHILDREN – i have spent the better part of 30 years avoiding children. let me clarify because i have three older Grandchildren besides the twins… My son has three kids and Ive have been in their… Continue reading

Her, Him, Me

I’m not gonna be maudlin this year so let me wish you all a Bless-ed Mothers Day. My Mama is with me too. When the sun shines i think of her. After my mom died i was obsessed with sunrises. i would rise at four and five and sit outside on my back deck and watch it. Some mornings would bring beautiful memories, some mornings would bring reality of the family struggle, the tug of war, the maliciousness that follows the loss of someone great. I swallowed a lot of tears in that first month after her passing. I drove to Palmyra (approximately an hour and some away from Richmond) daily after she passed to check on my Daddy. Although two sisters lived in close proximity to him, one was caught up in her own grief and thoughts of what she couldve done differently for her mom when she was… Continue reading

Big Boned, FAT or Phat

Today is a FAT day. we all have them. This isn’t a gender posting even though i will refer to how fat relates to men and to women. Generalities abound. Morning comes and we rise, sleep encrusted, we shake it off and head to the bathroom. Upon entering the bathroom we come face to face with the mirror. The mirror is our best friend or our worst enemy. We look through the haze of ocular shadows and glide our hands over the areas we daily take to task. Today is a fat day for me. I feel bloaty, i feel water retained, and my thighs look more cellulite-y then usual. My stomach has the familiar lower section pooch but it seems bigger. (and peeing didn’t shrink it like it does most mornings) My Tits seem to be slowly easing closer to my navel. At this point i stand straight shoulders… Continue reading

2nd Sunday in May….Lordt

LOST BLOGSPOT POSTS FOUND May 2, 2014 I’ve come to abhor the second sunday in May…(for Dorothy Elizabeth White) #1 The Bio… I was born in 1955 to a man i can’t begin to tell you how much i idolized. (RIP Daddy) and to woman who was EVERYTHING to me. Her name is/was Dorothy Elizabeth White. I want to pay homage to the woman who inspired me to always be present.. My mother was born August 10th 1925 to Ernest and Mollie White. She grew up in segregated Virginia, Palmyra in Fluvanna County. She was a hard working child being the oldest daughter in the family. My grandfather died long before i came along but he was said to be a mean man. Mama “looked” different (or so he felt) from the other gurls. That and feeling that my grandmother “stepped out” on him caused him to be violent even… Continue reading

Fuck it…I Chose Me

Gday Luvs😘 Realization and Growth Is a Powerful Duo & All the Motivational Memes in the World cant help you if you ain’t ready 2See…2Live…2Be I pulled the trigger & hit the target square in CenterMass…✌ Replaced Doubt with Determination Traded Possibility for Peace Considered Sensibility over Sacrifice Whispered to Myself “Fuck It” & I Chose Me….💜 Continue reading

Flying Blind…

Good Friday 2016 838 pm. Spirit Flt 821 heading for Atlanta. How did I get here? What a difference a life takes. I never envisioned my life would end up friend-deficient, family-absent and partnerless. I mean I went to the G&D school for loving relationships. (My folks Granville &Dorothy) I guess the problem is while earning my PhD in unconditionally loving, Ride or Die I also got a degree (My Masters) in Expertly detecting and identifying Bullshit. Needless to say one can work efficiently but often work towards negating the other. I’ve learned to live w/o malice enriched with forethought out of necessity and not desire. I’ve often admitted I don’t like many people so I don’t engage those I find droll and of no recourse for me. This doesn’t make me cocky it allows my free will to discern that which or who sustains me daily. I can work… Continue reading

Hunger no More

Love is a dish best served. The temperature of the dish matters not. The temperature is a personal preference. Once you realize you’ve stumbled upon the missing ingredient… your palate, your hunger, thirst, need and desire are forever changed. Our NEEDS start out basic and simple. Somewhere across the span of our journey we are led to believe that our needs must increase exponentially to match our wants. The question “what do you want” is introduced into our psyche from early on. Because we can think it, or envision it we believe we WANT it hence we must need it. We look we see we copy we emulate we postulate and decide from sight that THEY have it so I should want that too. We CHANGE our recipe forcibly teaching ourselves to feed, eat and learn to enjoy it. We forgo our recipe and go shopping inadvisably. Many of our… Continue reading