Truth…(for D)

Quote from Anais Min…. **I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn’t impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls** ME? I’m a Lover of the Intoxification. I am a Lover of Truth. and my Truth is I facilitate but am never facilitated. Once the Fire dies…I must detach… Or I won’t Recover… For I need to know The Burn exists The waning does not happen right away but over time. The amount of time is based on my perception of the magnitude of the lie told and the life perpetrated. I’ve been adored but … Continue reading

8 years….Reflection

This photo is ICONIC for me. 8 years ago I asked an Ex Lover to take a DoveShot for me… At that time Dove had a campaign to show your true self. That picture was my interpretation of Natural…the key was to Strip Naked but not Show Naked…I was Amazed with the result. I’ve looked at it often over the years and relied on it for years in times of Need… to reharness my strength. Over these past eight years a lot has happened. Some Good some Not so Good some Great. I lost my Dad… Funny, that sounds like he wandered off instead of deciding to Join his Love…My Mom…He ascended in 2011 and his 5th anniversary is around the corner. I picture them together. I thank them for channeling some of their spirit into the Twins… The Gems are where I find my Peace on Earth now. I … Continue reading

My 2nd Best Birthday Present

SHE WOULD NOT WANT ME MOURNFUL ON MY BIRTHDAY… SHE LOVED MUCH TOO DEEPLY FOR THAT… SHE LOVED AUTHENTICALLY SHE LOVED HONESTLY SHE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY… I brought my Mama home to Die on my Bday… 11/20 We made the decision on the 19th… on the 20th, My Dad (after I discussed it with him and Doc) told Doc ours & My Mama’s wishes… I signed DNR papers Hospice papers & left to go meet the ambulance… Placing her in Her Bed She kept whispering Thank you Thank you I placed her face in my hands & asked Thanks for what Mama? She smiled a bit & said “FOR EVERYTHING…” #NOGREATERGIFT BESIDES MY DAUGHTERS BIRTH ON WHAT IS NOW OUR BIRTHDAY… THIS WILL ALWAYS BE MY NEXT BEST PRESENT…. SHE ASCENDED 11/22 at Home #GodBlessHospice #ImAHospiceTrainedVolunteer #DaughterisHospiceMSW The magnitude of the connection of time and advent of days will never leave … Continue reading

WTF?!

Jim you are in my head this morning. My BroInLaw posted a meme on his FB page. I was shocked cuz I was mulling over this very thought while laying in bed. I was thinking how men and women have UNFORTUNATELY taught themselves that life in all is truimph tragedy wonder and glory is better navigated ALONE. Its not necessarily because they want to but because theyve lulled themselves into living this NEW UN-NORMAL. A premise of not living a co-joined life seems so widely accepted its daunting to me. It appears to be a factual way of life these days instead of one realizing its simply a causative aftermath of relational missteps and false starts…. DAMN SHAME…. For ME *The EFFORT to care is always worth the Attempt* EVERY PERSON IS NOT A BAD PERSON. & EVERYBODY HAD ISSUES…. if I believed it were over because I LEGALLY committed … Continue reading

She Killed Herself…

Just saw the latest episode of MaryJane. She grieves the loss, processes the goodbye of her best friend Lisa. It made me cry….for about a minute. I’ve had friends my whole life… My First My Always was my Mama. She taught me the Art of Ride or Die… My Last and Most Endearing is and will ALWAYS be my Daughter. She’s inspired me to live my life Authentically… Between the spheres and spectrums of my life I’ve know many but only allowed in a precious few. I grew up with three older sisters so I sprung from the womb with a Coat of Estrogen surrounding me. Along the way the strand of familia broke. The Pearls of Mamas wisdom and vision of Sister Solidarity spilled, …and the winds of change obliterated the bond… Only memories remain… As with the Loves in my life… I’m a One Besty at a time … Continue reading

KnockKnock who’s There? Sadness? U can’t come in…

HAVE YOU EVER HAD THOSE DAYS WHERE YOU WANNA BE SAD BUT CAN’T? I’VE HAD MANY…. If you follow for fun or with some belief the thoughts of the star universe spheres called zodiac…Scorpios by design or wind current can be Morose Creatures at times…it seems we choose selective wallowing ALMOST as much as we like to think we INVENTED sex…and no that’s NOT today’s topic. (Actually when we are in deep self induced thought sex is the LAST thing on our mind) I WANT to be Sad…I WANT to be forlorn and Woe is Me…but all I feel is… THANK YOU GOD GZUS AND ALLLLL THE POSTLES… and The Best Fucking part is I got here on my OWN volition. No Epiphanies, No Great Love Affair, No Tortured Triumphs because ALL OF THAT is in my Rear View. I FINALLY let the Pining for that Ne-gro go. The Soul … Continue reading

A Mother Awed.

Each time i come 2 Atl and visit my MiniMe BabyDiva My AmazingM Morgan Alexander I marvel over her Fortitude Resilience STRENGTH Humility Humor Hubris Compassion & Her Capacity to Love Amidst Adversities Trials Turbulance & Being a Twin Mom Overworked Fatigued Concerned Prayerful & Prayer-filled I was born to bring Her Spirit 2 This Plane She was Born & Saved My Life… Keep Praying Keep Pushing through Keep Persevering Your Efforts Aren’t In Vain… & I Love You 2Infinity & Beyond… Continue reading

A Requiem for 59 Years and 19 Days

At 59.19 days I know one thing… Death welcomes me and will open the door to my Third and Final Act. Act I – Birth/Beginning Act II – Discovery/Decisions Act III – Recovery/Reward Its as simple and as complicated as that. Now the Book says (old king James book depends on your belief of it …if at all) if I’ve lived Right I will sneak past 3 Score and 10. So I’m gonna have 10 more years to act a cool fool before breath fades and eyes dim… But Many…more worthy then I might be didn’t make it. My 2 Earth Angels did. I feel I was granted their counsel cuz “I won’t ready” so they stayed to make me “Get Ready” not for their Death.. but for My Crazy, Hard Azz and at times Severely Fucked up Life. I thank them everyday. Me? I prepared my two early on. … Continue reading

prelude2ActIII

PRELUDE2ACTIII If by Grace The Wanderer Awakens Realizes & Pays Close Attention In the Stillness… This is the point at which you realize… YOU’VE SERVED YOUR PURPOSE YOU’VE COMPLETED YOUR DIVINE TASKS For Some This Breeds FEAR NEGLECT SADNESS I’ve ALWAYS felt Alone Included but Not Inclusive Loneliness & Lack of Need Partially Killed My Father… While Acceptance of A Life Fulfilled Allowed My Mother to say Goodbye With me… Husbands/Lovers NEEDED but Didn’t Love Children NEEDED but RIGHTFULLY Grew&Ventured Out Relatives/Friends NEEDED Till Expectations & Differing Attitudes Bore Witness to their True Disdain This Day’s Revelation has brought LIFELONG Questions Answers and I AM FREE Continue reading

SUNDAYS SERMON (hello from the outside)

My Sunday Sermon Finds my Edifice Empty as it has been Most of 2015 Oh I have 2-3 Faithful Missionaries but Due to Geography they must Minister Long Distance along with their “Junior Gems” I’ve had an inquiring Mind or two But the Word I bring has NEVER been for The Faint of Heart I Never learned How to KOWTOW nor Bare False Witness and I ABHOR attempts at DemiGod-ery I was BAPTIZED in the House of SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT Where The Honorable Granville&Dorothy White Presided and THEY Entrusted Their Lessons would live on in Me… I’ve FALLEN 7 or 8 But EVERY TIME STILL…. I RISE… #BetterNotBitter #LonelyComesandGoes #PeaceReignsAmidstSolitude #ICHOOSEME Continue reading