RECOVERED FROM BLOGSPOT 2014
I have two beautiful, funny, loving GrandGems…Mr. Mason and Ms. Peyton Alexander, 14 mo old fraternal twins.
Up till June 1st they resided in ATL. Luckily their Mommy, my daughter was chosen and accepted a position that brought the fam back to RVA. (Dad is still in Atl to close out apt. etc) She started her job June 2nd. Now with me being on Severance/Sabbatical (fancy term for NOT WORKING A 9-5) i offered to become full time Nana, with ancilliary help from Grandma (S-I-L’s Mom) if need be. Before you say oooh and ahhh how wonderful there are two things I want you to know.
1. IM ALLERGIC TO CHILDREN – i have spent the better part of 30 years avoiding children. let me clarify because i have three older Grandchildren besides the twins… My son has three kids and Ive have been in their lives up until the last almost three years. (separation my son and his wife and simple-ton wife is holding them hostage or ransom from us…yeah i said it) I love them dearly as well but getting to know them and be in their lives was/is no ez task. So more often then not I was the $$$ Nana, the help pay bills, keep the lights on Nana, and Bday $gifts and Xmas $gifts. Besides my Grands i do think children are cute, funny and such but i have been able to pretty much adore them from afar.
THESE TWO… STOLE MY HEART FROM THE WORD GO…Maybe its how hard it was to get them here, (Daughter high risk pregnancy, Hospitalizations, Bedridden from 24 weeks until delivery at 36 weeks) Maybe its because i was there when they entered the world, and Certainly because it was MY Baby having HER Babies…but i digress…xo
2. AS I STATED EARLIER ITS BEEN 30 SOME YEARS SINCE IVE BEEN AROUND BABIES – My daughter is in her mid thirties, so i have been blissfully ignorant of all the newfangled things in the world of babies.
But I figured im an Intelligent woman with a speedy mind and apt memory and could pick up what i needed ot know quick fast and in a hurry. I mean how hard could it be right? I had two kids of my own. Lest I forget…I don’t think so…I just knew I had this and was gonna be great at it.
The problem was I didn’t have nor had an inkling caring for TWO at a time. I was 18 and 23 respectively when my kids were born…I am 58 now and too old not to know better…that with age and uncertainty comes fatigue and frustration for Type A folks like me.
The first thing i did was equip the living room and dining room in my townhouse with the accoutrements necessary to tranform the LR into a day care type play room. I started baby proofing and setting up here and there and was so proud of myself for taking on the task. I was ordering and shipping and picking up rugs, mats, little tyke table and chairs, and rearranging furniture to ensure their safety. It turned out beautiful.
June 2nd my daughter started her new job. By June 4th I was starting to wane, by June 5th I wanted to say “uncle i give in” by June 6th i was out looking for day care facilities and by June 7th we sat down to have a serious pow wow.
My GrandGems WORE ME OUT…by six pm i was fried, frazzled, discumbobulated and every muscle that i had not used for decades ached!!!! They were still happy, delightful and loving, but Nana on the inside was a wreck. The biggest problem then became…not wanting to place blame where blame should be…ME, ME, and ME and my inability to handle the task alone…So knowing I had to release the frustration and self loathing…I became WIFE-ZILLA. My husband came home first every day and was met with disdain by the Femaile version of Dr. Jekyll…Ms. Hyde had left the building. He was also astute enough to see the physical and emotional toll it was taking on me. Friday my daughter my Husband and me sat down to talk. I felt ill equipped, downtrodden and defeated. I was able to tell them my dilemmas and they were able to help me with observations i didn’t acknowledge.
For one thing…i couldn’t be my type A OCD self and try to continually clean up, wash dirty clothes, sweep, cook and such with 14 mo old twins in the house. That does not compute. I was killing myself adding a monumental job to my already filled plate. Oh did i fail to also mention i have a soon to be seven year old Westie Furry SPOILED Child? Angel is just that but she too got caught up in “Mommy who are these little people?”
The discussion left me defeated, my daughter disgusted and my Husband somewhat determined to be heard. I left the room, THEM, and the scene to go up to my room to think, to berate myself and in TRUE Type A style figure out what the hell i was gonna do…
Saturday I rose with new determination. I asked for another chance because they truly do mean everything to me. We also decided to bring their Grandmother A into the fold as she had already offered and was more than prepared to assist. She has made a lifes advocation out of watching her other grands like some Gma’s do and she is expert at it. Plus she had been with the babies for the first year of their lives, stored her belongings and moved to ATL to be their nanny while the parents worked. I can never repay her for that kindness.
My daughter agreed and reiterated she wasn’t mad at me but she was too tired to figure out complexities and then attempt to fix them. I said lets do it together. #OldDogNewTrick…
This past Monday was a brand new day. They Like Me They really Like Me…and i LOVE them to bits. They are funny, smart, “cunning’ emotional and filled with LOVE as well as the abundance of Energy.
Im still beat, but not dead dog tired…and I am so glad I gave MYSELF another chance…
Somewhere My Mama is smiling…